Conflict Styles of Men

Having a beneficial conflict style is comparable to understanding how to win at a game of Go. Both are an abstract-strategy dance that deems imperative knowing your game, as well as you do your opponent’s approach, in order to attain the goals you have. Modern research concludes men tend to display certain typical stylistic approaches during times of conflict. The goal of this website is to acknowledge the dispositions men have, and redirect those inclinations towards more beneficial patterns of communication. 

“During conflict men, compared to women, appear to experience more physiological flooding that takes longer to dissipate.”

(Cupach, Canary, & Spitzberg, 2010, p. 99).

Conflict is an inherent part of dialogue. Utilizing strategical methods, in lieu of one’s tendencies, will undoubtedly assist with effectiveness in attaining the conversational goal.   

Key concepts

A conflict style can be defined as a man or woman’s general tendency to perform certain behaviors, in a repeated fashion, for different situations.

There are 5 conflict styles that are broadly recognized by scholars:

1. Collaborating- Problem solving communication attempting to fulfill both goals of you and the other person.

2. Avoiding- Low concern for either person’s goals leads to withdrawing from contact with other person.

3. Competing- A low concern is placed on the goals of the other, in pursuitof completing the goal of self.

4. Accommodating- In effort to lessen conflict, emphasis is directed towards completion of the other person’s goal.

5. Compromising- Negotiations are had, utilizing a give and take method to find a middle ground for both parties.

(Cupach, Canary, & Spitzberg, 2010, p. 56).

 

The chart below depicts how each method of conflict management is socially interpreted.

There are 4 types of aggressive behaviors which are used rather than arguing:

1. Frustration- Your perception leads you to believe goal completion is being hindered by the other person.

2. Social learning- The important people of your life have influenced you enough so you mimic their behavior.

3. Psychopathology- The other person represents some prior unresolved pain or fear.

4. Skill deficiency- You generally have the inability to effectively communicate.

(Cupach, Canary, & Spitzberg, 2010, p. 70).

 

The “What to Know” menu describes uses of this information to further explain the regular patterns of male conflict management styles.